A QUICKIE ... or not.

orientation ...? W/E. Stop wondering about who is right for you, before you end up all alone.

New York is beautiful in the Winter.

Why is it so easy to see the beauty in others, when I can't even see the beauty in me. I never give myself too much credit. I'm paranoid at the world. I keep myself busy so my mind doesn't have time to ramble on about my insecurities and flaws. But it always seems to make time; what a reliable mind I've come to acquire. Why is it that I can make others so happy, but I can't cut myself a break. I work but never play. Why the fuck can't I play? I want to play. I don't want to walk around with a stick up my ass for my entire adolescence. Why the fuck am I punishing myself? I can't just let go and be free. I beat myself up every which way. But thats what I'm good at. Maybe I rely on the negatives to seek the positives. Although I do find positives, yet again my paranoia to the world lurks my brain. I want a friend, a great friend. One that I can call anytime of the day/night. One that wants to know about me. One that won't dip on me. One that cares as much as I would. I guess thats why I pity myself so much. I don't have someone to just slap some happiness on to me. I'm a lonely soul. Don't get me wrong, I love being alone. But not all the time. It gets depressing. Damn, I pulled the depression card. Sorry y'all. I just want someone real in my life, love/friendship. I'm tired of raping myself out of happiness. Taking what sunshine I come across as a hidden cloud.

I got more designing to do.

signing out.

Shame on you, Economy.

Wall Street received an $18 Billion bonus last year, but most had to take up a second job just to afford gas. Something's gotta give!

I'll update later, promise to write a real entry and show some of my work.

signing out.

Hey, You.

Dear Dreamer,
I will never push you aside. I don't see what they see. Just a hopeless little kid with aspirations. Just another fresh New Yorker. I see a lost soul. Someone who knows who they are, but has yet to find them self. So please don't go hiding in the corner. Don't be so crummy to yourself. 'Cause believe it, you will make it. Keep up your self respect. Keep your dignity. But remember there are others much worse off than you. Never hold your nose up high, only your heart. Never do anything halfway, because that is all you will get in return. HURT. Hurt like hell. It is the only way to know your duties are getting paid. Don't sleep. Don't stop. Keep on dreaming.

'from adobe to a dream', i don't know.

I'm having designer's block. Editor in Cheif over here ... I can't think of openings for my Yearbook. Wack, I know.

What's going on in my life? Trying to start off my business. Posters, websites, etc. I need to start a portfolio. Damn me for deleting my old work. It's going to be a busy couple of months.

Valentines Day is so useless. FYI.

Have a great week everyone.

signing out.